How I Feel About Being A Bad Person

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It's one thing to be mad, and mean.
But what's the point?
It's not beautiful to be ruthless.
It's not really anything to be better than somebody else:
Because you're not.
And I'm not either.
It's better to have compassion,
I think.
That way, somebody might give it back
Even though neither of us deserve it.
We're both tortured, in a way.
And even if they don't give it back, you can understand what's it's like to give someone
A small, good thing.
And maybe your world,
And my world,
Will be better for it.

Posted by : Coby Gerstner


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Graduate college
Start career
Be happy

Posted by : Coby Gerstner

A Journey

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I just have to say: I love BYU. It's a place unlike any other in the world.

I've always wanted to be here, and I did it. Right out of high school, I did it. I remember worrying because people said it was harder for white boys from Provo to get in, and I remember that scaring me. But I got in. The same week I became a starter for the varsity soccer team. It was a really cool time for me.

Then I spent hours and hours and hours there. And I stretched myself, and became a better person. Here are two memories.

I came back to school (at BYU), older and more alone than before. Everybody I knew was gone and graduated. I was almost starting over. So I prayed that I would make friends. And I was scared because I was older than everybody, and didn't really know anyone. So I'd go to school, come home, and repeat. It wasn't like before when I'd go to a friends, or the dorms, or hang out on campus. I was taking a book of mormon class. And there was a period where I came in, sat down, and felt great. I smiled at everyone, said hi to people I didn't know, I even saw somebody from another class and talked to them. I was making friends! I realized God was answering my prayers in really great, small ways. And I was happy. At the start I had a lot of self-doubts. But through simple means, my prayers were being answered. I remember sitting in that class, feeling a little overwhelmed with gratitude. Having a little bit of hindsight. Seeing the Lord's hand at work. You know? It was a really good feeling.

I was a teenager, biking with my friends on campus. We'd ridden the two miles up timpview drive, down ninth east, to the south end of campus. And as we were rolling around, we stopped by some stairs where some people were walking down, and I got a really strong feeling. This is the place I needed to be. And so, no matter what, I decided I was going to go to BYU.

A LOT of things opened up along the way. A lot of good people entered my life, along with a lot of great opportunity. So I'm kind of sad that it's ending even though it took a really long time. It was right for me. It was good.

And that's the best part. It may have been long, and winding, and hard and full of moments where I didn't know what was going on in life or where I was going, or what I was going to do, but all along the way, God showed me the good.

Posted by : Coby Gerstner